Sunday, October 30, 2016

memory lane of HSI

it was fluttering all over.
it feels like the very very very first time. 
though i know i just come to sending over a patient, but i was like burst into tears. I was so nervous , and was thinking about what should i say. 

i know, i left a bad impression. I wasnt good to everyone back then. Budak lurus yang tak reti berborak. Tapi, sungguh. Sayangnya aku pada mereka mereka, tak terucap dengan kata-kata. I miss them . Too much. If and only i wasnt the one yang ada problem dekat situ, right know it must be me yang kelam kabut kerja kat situ. Haha. I miss them. Seriously (':

Anyhow, the what if's will never happen. Right now i am here. Typing the dreams and the memories in an old-blog.

i miss them.
i miss the old-good times.
i miss the sound of the bell.
i miss the floor. The walls. The old-wooden triage counter. The library.
i miss every single things about them.

My first time coming over after almost 11th months left.
Reminds me all the bitter-sweet memories. And my first time working as a triager with syaaban. Oh menggg syaaban again. Hahaha. Sebab dia orang first pagi pagi hari yang cakap aku pregnant jadi aku ingat dia sampai sekarang. Hahaha. Bangunan yang simpan macam macam kenangan. Ups and downs. Tunggang terbalik, tergolek terlentang. 

Allah, i feel so blessed to know every one of them. Allahu.

to touch again to a place which i see myself growing up to become stronger.
to come again to a building which hold thousand of memories.
to see once again those faces which i owe a lot.
to step my feet on the place which i learnt to understand life and see myself as another version of person.

Allah, seriously i can't expressed how exactly it feels. I feel so blessed Allahuakbar.

after leaving the main gate, i was crying inside the ambulance. I try to cool down but my heart won't allow. I miss them. I miss all my friends. I miss all my seniors. Memories running so wild inside my head.

Now i know the feeling of goodbye without leaving. It feels like already living for thousand- years just because of the overflowing memories. If thinking of the old-good times was happen to be a flower, i might walk in the garden full of flowers everyday.

May Allah take good care of them. Guide them . Bless them. May one day we'll meet in Jannah. The forever palace for those who Allah favor. Amin-

Semoga , aku tak pernah lupa nama nama mereka dalam doa aku. Dan semoga, aku bertahan dan tetap menjadi anak anak panah islam yang bekerja kerna Allah- walau apa pun yang jadi. Walau di mana pun aku tercampak.


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